Security 'Invention': Bullet-Resistant Furniture

By John Honovich, Published on Aug 14, 2015

Do you lose sleep at night worrying your love seat will be murdered?

Do you fear that your sofa will be a victim of a drive by shooting?

Then, a new SIA member has the solution to your problems.

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*********, **** **** ** is ***** ****** ****** furniture, **** *** **** being **** *** *** the ********* ** * shield. ***** ******** *** cited ** *** ****** market, ** ******** **** **********:

***** *** *********** **** ************ for **** ********, ** very **** ******** / risk ************. ** *** other ****, **** ** are *** *********** ****** La-Z-Boys ****** *********, ******* underscores *******'* *********** ************* with ****.

*** ***** **********, *** may ******** ************* **** new ****** ********* **** the#* ******* ** *** West **** **** - a *********** *********.

Comments (15)

Thnaks, John! This is good to know for anyone moving to South Chicago or Guatemala.

In other news, ammunition makers are working on a special furniture-piercing round.

In all seriousness, there are some really paranoid customers out there... few that are this extreme, but they are there. And you never know, sometimes they may be legitimately paranoid. (Witness protection, extortion victime, estranged spouse, etc.)

And even if you never ever sell one in your career, it could be an interesting eye catcher that could make your company stand out in the website or marketing material. "We install video surveillance, ACS, alarms... and we're an authorized dealer of "bullet resistant furniture"." How many integrators list biometrics on their line cards, even though it may be an extremely small percentage of business, but it looks cool.

"We are Oklahoma's exclusive dealer of ToughDog cameras and Ballistic Furniture Systems."

I like how you are thinking...

I bet that would be a killer roadshow.

Also, allow me to clarify the vague 'bullet resistence' exception the CEO cited in his comments.

1) It's not bullet proof if it absorbs the force of the bullet, which the Kevlar does. The Kevlar is rated to absorb & dissipate up to a certain amount of force (think multiple bullets in a small area), but once that point is exceeded, it fails.

2) Rifle bullets have more energy than handgun bullets. Notice the demo used a 9mm hangun. Those bullets typically have less than 1/4th the ballistic energy than a .223 rifle, despite being a larger bullet. (Why? Higher velocity, or f=m*a)

Summary: A bad guy wielding a rifle probably would not be slowed down by this furniture.

If only there was more effort put into the "right to arm bears" rather than the "right to bear arms" there would never be any need for a gun shielding chair. Only in America.....

True as Luis said there are some really paranoid customers out there....usually the same ones that can't pay their bills and buy their video system at Sam's. I would gladly refer them to a competitor I really didn't like -"Call Joe at Conspiracy Security, they sell bullet resistant furniture, dehydrated survival foods and top notch complete camera systems for under $100!"

They are trying to cross-promote / jump on the new NWA movie:

Between Petzi and Ballastic I'm not sure whose market research is worse.

Now make some dog resistant furniture, or a camera that fires live rounds and then you'll have my attention!

What I'm really waiting for is this...just need the spidey sense to go with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftEAdOKy6CY

Now if they could just market something like this in Japan that could handle Godzilla.

Their tagline now: "Protecting people from unexpected gun violence."

Crazy. Right up there with libraries, movies are one of the safest forms of sitting known, as opposed to the way you might get there for instance, driving.

You may be more likely to get eaten by an alligator than shot in a theatre. ;)

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