Subscriber Discussion

What To Do About The Owner's Wife?

UI
Undisclosed Integrator #1
Oct 17, 2018

I read the thing about working at the owner's home. Don't have that problem.

Mine is a salesguy, does not know anything about tech. His wife is the bookkeeper or accountant or their words CFO. She has no training and handles expenses personally as if we are stealing from their family. Just lots of drama and headaches for us.

Not sure what to do, dont want to look for a new job. Anyone have any advice?

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Daniel S-T
Oct 17, 2018

Probably not the advice you were hoping for, and quite possibly some one else can provide better, but I doubt that person is going to change.

Hard to talk to the owner about his finance lady, when they are married, and chances are she does see the money as her families money, since they own the company.

Ask for clear, and written policies on expensing. Try to limit the amount you expense? Or just get the company to order everything vs buying it yourself. 

 

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Sean Nelson
Oct 17, 2018
Nelly's Security

If it bothers you enough, just quit. Thats whats great about America, so many other oppurtunities out there.

But it sounds like you dont want to do that, so unfortunately, probably not much you can do but suck it up.

Since its the owners wife, this is just one of those things that "come with the job". Judging by the way she acts, I doubt that talking to her or the owner will result in any good at all. She doesnt seem reasonable so I dont see anything good coming out of you calling her out on it to either her or her husband.

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UI
Undisclosed Integrator #2
Oct 17, 2018

Never thought this day would come but.....  I agree with Sean.  Unless you are in a terrible market or being paid way above average it sounds like it's time to move on.  If you cannot move on just going to have to deal with it as bringing up the situation will only cause you grief. 

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UI
Undisclosed Integrator #1
Oct 17, 2018

Thanks guys. How likely am I to have to deal with this at other shops? The other companies I know locally all seem to be owned by other call em characters.

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Daniel S-T
Oct 17, 2018

Your best bet for figuring that out is to try talking with other people from those other shops.

Every place is gonna be a little different, owners could be characters, but maybe they deal with financial stuff in a normal, adult way.

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Sean Nelson
Oct 17, 2018
Nelly's Security

That shouldnt be the norm at larger organizations and you would probably have more of an oppurtunity to voice your opinion without negative consequences if somethign bad like this was going on at a bigger corporate job.

Smaller Mom and Pop shops, im not real sure this behaivor would be going on either.

If you really like your job, I would recommend tacking this head on by going above and beyond what the wife is asking you to do and turn in all your work and expenses with 100% excellence. Chances are, she will begin to respect you and the bull crap will end, also, she may put in a good word with her hubby which cant be a bad thing. However, if she still continues with the bull crap, even after your over-achievements, its probably time to head out.

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UI
Undisclosed Integrator #3
Oct 17, 2018

There are some variables to consider. First is can you afford to be out of work and how likely is it you can find another job in your market? Here, there are 15+ employment postings on indeed for technicians so any decent tech will have no problem finding a new job.

 

I would have a talk with both of them. Explain you do the job you were hired to, and sometimes you need parts, etc. Have an open conversation and ask them for their preferred procedures. Remember to be professional, and if it doesn't go the way you want, polish the resume.

 

 

U
Undisclosed #4
Oct 17, 2018
IPVMU Certified

Institute fixed per diems for food, mileage allowances for travel.

UI
Undisclosed Integrator #5
Oct 17, 2018

Quit.  Plenty of places to work where you are part of solution.  Mom and pop is scary.   They focus on their livelihood and you are second thoughts.  

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U
Undisclosed #4
Oct 18, 2018
IPVMU Certified

Instead of taking the bull by the horns, have you tried undermining and overwhelming her by organizing the techs in a coordinated passive-aggressive effort?

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JH
John Honovich
Oct 18, 2018
IPVM

undermining and overwhelming her by organizing the techs in a coordinated passive-aggressive effort?

You're crazy! :) Have you considered being a screenwriter? It might be funny to watch but I can only imagine making things worse.

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UM
Undisclosed Manufacturer #9
Oct 19, 2018

I really hope U4's comment was purely sarcastic. Right? LOL

U
Undisclosed #4
Oct 19, 2018
IPVMU Certified

I really hope U4's comment was purely sarcastic.

Maybe.  But it’s what most people, IMHO, naturally end up doing when they need to deal with an unreasonable bean counter with unchecked authority.  

You resist by overly strict compliance to the rules, hoping that the effects of their shortsighted logic will become apparent to others.

But to pull this off you need to be a stellar contributor in your own right.  To summarize, ass: in the office - kiss it, on the road - haul it, on site - bust it.

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UM
Undisclosed Manufacturer #6
Oct 18, 2018

Life's to short. If you are good at what you do then look for a change. If there are other opportunities for work around you you could even have the talk with her knowing that you have a safety net in place if she turns out to be an ignorant cow.

U
Undisclosed #7
Oct 18, 2018

my first reaction to the headline was "don't sleep with her", but that is just my childish sense of humor.

if it is any consolation, i have the same problem working for a big company. our company rules stipulate 3 star hotel for business trips, i once managed to find a 4 star hotel on promotion (cheaper than 3 star hotel) but the company still wouldn't approve it.  

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UI
Undisclosed Integrator #2
Oct 18, 2018

i once managed to find a 4 star hotel on promotion (cheaper than 3 star hotel) but the company still wouldn't approve it.

While it is maddening I am sure it depends on the circumstances.  If you were working on a project and that room was being billed to the customer even if it was cheaper the customer may not like the fact that you are staying at a 4 or 5 star hotel and may challenge your company as to why they are paying for you to stay in such a way.  It is quite possible that was not the case but that could very well be the reason for this policy and it is much easier to keep to a strict policy for a large business than to play it on a case by case basis.

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U
Undisclosed #4
Oct 18, 2018
IPVMU Certified

my first reaction to the headline was "don't sleep with her"

Good heavens, no! Now that would be truly reckless conduct...

Especially considering that he can get most of the upside with a lot less downside, just by making a subtle, plausibly deniable pass...

Of course, he would never follow thru.  Kinda like writing a blank check on a closed account.

Even if she mentions it to her husband, (assuming it was done inscrutably enough), he’s not going to fire him over it.

Though there is a good chance the boss suddenly won’t want him to interface with the “CFO” anymore.

Case Closed!

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U
Undisclosed #10
Oct 19, 2018

you had too many things in that post that I laughed at...  and, alas, I am limited to only one 'funny' vote  :(

UI
Undisclosed Integrator #8
Oct 18, 2018

Maybe she's just trying to make sure she is keeping track of everything.  My question is...why do you have such a problem with it? 

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Ari Erenthal
Oct 19, 2018
Chesapeake & Midlantic

This situation will never ever get better, unless the company gets sold or something. 

Either learn to live with it or quit. 

I'm sorry if this is not the answer you want to hear. 

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U
Undisclosed #10
Oct 19, 2018

agree 100% with Ari.

why?

because life isn't a soap opera, though 92.7% of women wish this were so.

I don't mean to sound harsh... and Ari is a much nicer person than I am... but I think you already know what you need to do - and just needed a little nudging in the right direction.

;)

If the wise words of Mr. Kristoffersen below aren't something you want to take on, at least start trying to find somewhere where what you do is more obviously valued.

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CK
Carl Kristoffersen
Oct 19, 2018

Step 1: think of a good business name...

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UD
Undisclosed Distributor #11
Oct 21, 2018

If it is any help I was once in a similar situation.  Had done huge hours to get a project finished on time - think in terms of over 85 hours in a 7 day period. 

Did we get a thankyou? -  No

Did we get a well done? - No

What we got was the owners missus saying, and this is a quote "Did you really do these hours, or are you trying to steal from us?"

Add to the fact that she was also complaining about fuel dockets, job was 90 min from base, and everything else I took great delight in resigning shortly after.  Basically mainly because of her they lost 10 techs in 2 weeks and it effectively broke the company.

 

 

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U
Undisclosed #4
Oct 22, 2018
IPVMU Certified

Basically mainly because of her they lost 10 techs in 2 weeks...

you aren’t the guys behind TenTech by any chance?

 

UD
Undisclosed Distributor #11
Oct 22, 2018

Nope, this was 25 years ago

 

UI
Undisclosed Integrator #12
Oct 22, 2018

An employee will always lose a battle against a wife.  I found that out about 30 years ago.

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UI
Undisclosed Integrator #13
Oct 22, 2018

I used to work for a fairly large Mom & Pop.  The wife was Sr VP.  Remember; they are married and he trusts her with the books or has to. 

Your long term future is not bright if the bookkeeper looks at you this way and sleeps with the boss.

Save your money up and leave on your terms.  You can't win in this organization.  She will undermine you eventually.  Remember the lesson, one day you may be the owner. 

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U
Undisclosed #14
Oct 29, 2018

Why are you even asking this question? If you are good at what you do, find somewhere else to work. You will never win in this battle. Quit!

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