Revolutionary New Cable Technology Uses Liquorice For Insulation!

Joint announcement from Beldin N.A. and the University of Wanecta:

April 1, 2017 Wanecta, WY - For immediate release

Today, we at Beldin and UVW are pleased to announce the first successful production run of category 5 rated twisted pair cable using a hybrid construction of conventional polymers and Glycyrrhiza glabr as a dielectric substance. Glycyrrhiza glabr is the root from which the popular confectionary known as liquorice is synthesized from.

Displaying 2560px-Glycyrrhizic_Acid.svg.png

Plant, root, common form and chemical structure: Glycyrrhiza glabr

Useful Characteristics of Drawn Liquorice

Apparently liquorice has many attractive properties for cable manufacturing including:

  • Dieletric constant of 1.077
  • Naturally UV resistant
  • High Ductile strength
  • Extreme Hydrophobicity (Water resistance)
  • Exhibits strong Shape-Memory
  • Can provide emergency sustenance of up to 2.3 kcal/meter (black)

Method of Discovery

UVW Lead Scientist Dr. Reese Caldron recalls:

I was sitting around the lab one Sunday morning when I became fixated on a package of Rainbow Liquorice. I noticed how the twist rate was nearly identical to those in standard category cable. From there, it was only a matter of a few months before we had a test spool ready. Unfortunately it soon degraded into a cubic foot mass of formless toxic goo during a hot spell! We changed the formulation considerably using commercial binders and stiffeners from there, though this ruled out discretionary on-the-job consumption.

Method of Production

Unlike traditional cable construction, LiQ based category cable is extruded, not totally unlike (in principle) the common toy shown here:

PlayDoh Extruder with TwistTool (sold seperately) selected.

Impact on Legacy Cabling Industry

Possibly large, since this development was done in full-stealth-mode.

Impact on Liquorice Industry

Couldn't come at a better time, as changing demographics have produced a worldwide glut on liquorice and liquorice-based products in all flavors, with prices falling year after year, especially in the bell-weather Sweet Brent Black Liquorice commodity:
Related: Market leader Twizzler [TWZ] as well as liquorice futures are trading up in pre-market April Fools Day trading on the news.
;)
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