Consultant, Used To Free Lunches, Wants Free Membership

Security consultants are used to getting free lunches from manufacturers, so I guess this should not be a surprise. Today, we received this email randomly:

"As a consulting firm, we would accept a complimentary membership if you guys would be willing to extend one."

We declined.


Did you reply back to said consulting agency with "expense it?"

If only I was that clever!

reply..."given that we will be doubly helpful to a consulting business, paying your membership fee will seem like a 50% discount!"

On fire!

"As a consulting firm, we would accept a complimentary membership if you guys would be willing to extend one."

I'm pretty sure the moment you read that you did extend one...

I'm still waiting for my invite to the IPVM booze ^H^H^H^H^H training cruise.

I'm still waiting for my invite to the IPVM booze ^H^H^H^H^H training cruise.

You can always tell the real old-school guys ;)

It wasn't funny then, it's less funny now. Know your facts first.

What does this comment mean? What wasn't funny?

What does this comment mean? What wasn't funny?

The original joke's humor

I'm still waiting for my invite to the IPVM booze ^H^H^H^H^H training cruise.

rests primarily on a variation of the 'slip-of-the-tongue', in written form. In this case, the five ^H characters are intended to make us think that Undisclosed 4 quickly tried to erase the 'booze' from his sentence.

This reply

You can always tell the real old-school guys ;)

is a teasing response from one veteran to another, based on the fact that many less senior members on this site may not have had the pleasure of running a serial based vt-100 emulation communications program, which invariably would throw-up a ^H every time one hit backspace. A more modern equivalent would be

"I'm still waiting for my invite to the IPVM booze training cruise."

Update, also involved in the humor is the The Axis Corruption Cruise Returns saga, which Undisclosed 5 may feel Undisclosed 4 was referencing in his joke.

What's even funnier is that most of this particular exchange is by "Undisclosed" commenters. Can't imagine what any of you are hiding from... well, except maybe 5 not wanting people to know he(?) has a stunted sense of humour.

Well NOW it's not funny.

Do you go to comedy shows and lean over to explain the jokes to the guys at the next table too?

...we would accept a complimentary membership if you guys would be willing to extend one.

With jokes like that that one would soon earn a membership.

Must not reward you by voting this funny.....

Hi John

I hope we are not tarring all consultants with the same brush. :-)

I don't think John attempted to, or implied, that this was reflective of the attitude of a typical consultant.

Actually my response emphasized that hundreds of consultants pay for IPVM and that he should too.

I'm not sure there was anything wrong with his 'attitude'. It is not an uncommon practice for publications to provide complimentary subscriptions to those in the industry, if they only ask.

And he was quite polite!

I went to a famous trade show a few years back for the first time; I asked a friend how much he paid for his pass, he said "I didn't know you could pay."

So, if you don't ask...

"It is not an uncommon practice for publications to provide complimentary subscriptions to those in the industry, if they only ask."

Then who would pay for IPVM at all if we don't charge people in the industry? What is the benefit to us to give him a complimentary subscription and not the hundred of other consultants who pay for IPVM?

I have certainly given complimentary subscriptions but those are typically for people who cannot afford to pay (certain non-profits, unemployed industry people, students, etc.).

Btw, trade shows are the opposite of IPVM as vendors pay for them to sell products.

Then who would pay for IPVM at all if we don't charge people in the industry?

I didn't say nor imply that you should not charge for IPVM. I was just saying that there was nothing inappropriate about asking, considering that it is not unusual for other publications.

Since he is not a member, he may not be aware of how outrageously such a proposition would be viewed by those who are.

Btw, trade shows are the opposite of IPVM as vendors pay for them to sell products.

This indicates to me that I failed to get my point across in my anecdote.

What I was trying to say was that the next time I went to a trade show, I knew enough to ask if there was a free pass available.

I don't think the consultant politely asking was indicative of any moral failing on his part.

Related: The wrong way to e-mail John a request for free IPVM access.

lol, I'm rolling! Who does this person think they are??? I think you should charge him double for being a dork if he decides to sign up!

Apparently they weren't introduced to IPVM by an IPVM member who would have told them that this community is the BEST source of information in the security industry and worth every penny and more.

Any "consultant" who is actually doing thier own specifying and consulting instead of relying on free design work from integrators would be foolish not to sign up as a member!

Speaking as a well fed consultant (seldom does a week go by without at least one Lunch and Learn); I think consultants should pay double! The information I learn from this site better informs my client recommendations. Without this site I would have to rely on manufacturer propaganda and experience; however, surveillance technology moves far too fast to rely on experience alone. Tell the consultant that perhaps he can increase his billable hours if he was better educated by IPVM!

Rob, thanks! Tell me where I can send a 6-foot sandwich to you ;)

You got it Rob, there should be more consultants like yourself!